the uneasiness i am still feeling is immense. it is not purely mental but physical. images keep playing in my head. that moment when i first heard abt d messages, the messages itself, his reaction, my reaction, what my friends said, my replies to him and finally, how he is reacting to it.

this psychotic act the ex is doing is so typical. exactly the modus operandi he always adopts in the past. messing with my head, putting words in people's mouth, acting all hurt when he's hurting someone else etc. just being a total ass. the very reasons why i want out.

temple throbbing, heart pounding and then hyperventilating. falling asleep is difficult and waking up is tiring.

i really cant decide if its a good or bad thing that this is happening during my holidays. and speaking of holidays, i realllly hope next week is still on.

talking abt it to my friends doesnt make it better. i need to see him.

Allah SWT, please let us both be strong to overcome this blip.