im beginning to not like the act of peeing. it is so difficult to manoeuvre the crutches when im in the toilet. sitting down in such a way that my brace remains straight.

but i have come up with a strategy. unlock or remove brace when going into toilet. and pee when i DONT really need to go yet. so, it wont be messy. o_0

so to those who are not sure what has happened to me, im going to tell you now.

on the 18th of April 2009, Sporting Westlake had a match against Arion FC at Jalan Besar. it was probably only the 30th minute. i wanted to intercept the ball from the opponent. she was this big and tall Caucasian lady. i went to her left, she nudged me and i fell awkwardly outwards. there was a loud pop and i was crying!

it was Aqilah's birthday and we planned to go to the airport. the plan had to go on and once we got to the airport, we took a wheelchair and ayah wheeled me around.

after countless trips to private clinics and polyclinics, i was finally referred to the sports clinic at Alexandra. by just informing Dr Teh of what happened, he told me 'your soccer days are over'. he said my anterior cruciate ligament is torn. i did not even need to go for an MRI because just by doing some physical tests on my knee, he could confirm it. the only way to fix it was surgery. whatever the decision that i will make, i had to go physiotherapy to strengthen my quads to prevent further damage.

i went to a session at AH and the rest i did it during trainings. coach was really helpful in giving extra exercises that would strengten my quads. i thought i was fine so i started playing in small tournaments in july 2009. that's where my knee will pop if i was not balanced. the pain was excruciating! my knee would just give way and for that split second i can literally imagine my thigh bone and my shin bone separating. so this went on all the way till 2010.

on June 2010, i managed to climb Mount Kinabalu with a group of students and some teachers. ofcourse i wore my knee guard. i remembered, when i finally reached the resting place, i removed my knee guard and my knee gave away the moment i stood. but other than that, i was fine.

my last, most memorable pop was at Queenstown Secondary School (July 2010). i was late and the girls already started warming up. feeling confident after the Kinabalu climb, i did not put on my knee guard and joined them. after jogging, we had to do squats. and then CRACK! my knee went. amazingly there was not much pain. i iced it and then i played the whole tournament.

sitting out on one of the tournaments. Tamp Safra.

Queenstown Sec.

i think i only played for the last ten minutes. Jalan Besar after so long.

that's when i realised that i needed to fix it. it has come to a point that it does not hurt so much. something was definitely not right. so, from then on, i started enquiring about the cost, the recovery duration and such. i found out that a handful of my team mates, close friends and colleagues had the same procedure.

on the 5th of January 2011, my friend's Rohaidah's birthday, i had my knee done.