n so everytime i go to d market wif d usual ppl.
wanting to buy the nicest, most juicy mangoes for dessert.
so i was like, "hey! those buncha honey mangoes look really juicy. oh wow! they'r frm thailand n all. im sure its yummy."
1st close fren will say, "eh, u noe i actually heard that those mangoes from thailand r grown wif soil sprayed wif pesticide. who knows wat wil happen to u if u consume dem.. dun buy la."
n den 2nd close fren will say, "dey only look nice, but no la.. dun. ive heard too.."
me being the stubborn me, "wat crap u guys talkin abt? do look nice, im sure they r nice. n im goin to buy it!"
fren 1 n 2 will den go, "dun say we didnt warn u.."

so dey went home, i cant wait to devour those mangoes. peelin the skin was so easy.. their juices stained my hands. i cudnt wait to enjoy them.. the flesh was soft, melted in my mouth. the taste was heavenly. licking my lips i was laughing to myself, "idiots, dey duno wat they'r missing."
aftr a few hours. my tummy was starting to kill me. broke into cold sweat. countless visits to d loo. i was sent to d A & E. food poisoning.

this happened, 2 times? goin to b 3? y dun i ever learn?
cos i noe one day tt dey WIL b wrong. one day.
god help me.
n d funny thing is, everyone in d market knows abt it too. somehow.
dey laughing at me? dey feel sorry for me? right.
people. im ashamed for being one sometimes.
god help me again.

here i m consoling myself, n here i m too.. not being optimistic abt it.
prob im jus unlucky wif mangoes.

wats tt i hear, "contradictions.."
funny. everyone is saying that word now.

// its just an illusion

gd mrng. it rained heavily for awhile.
nice.
i woke up early. my back hurts. cudnt slp well.
il b sleepy by noon. i seriously wish i was schooling.
im so bored. dere's too much free time.
i hv too much time to think abt unnecessary stuff.

anyway, i really like the backstreet boys. =)
nice songs. n ofcos, cute guys.
hah.
watever.

me: aqilah, y u laugh? mad ah?
aqilah: no ah.. happy. wen u happy, u laugh..

// what's that smell?!

saw the latest BSB video on TRL jus now. 'just want you to know'.
80's themed. madness. dey were so crazy it was freaky.
hah. wait til kak rin sees it.

i tink oj was scared jus now. i screamed at her. well, not at her la. it was screaming at no one in particular. she asked me to wake up n send her downstairs. but i was tired la, so i screamed tellin my parents to wake my bro up. oj was speaking so quietly before leaving for sch.
now i feel bad.
damn.
shit shit shit.

gona complete a sale ltr at wrk. tts one happy thing for today.

// $2.40

spoiler

// you make the view nicer

so everything i do to everyone is never right.
they always have to say the same thing abt me.
u noe wat, its just enough proof that i truly suck n everyone shud stay clear of me.
n i mean it.
stay away.

last nite's trng was at san wilfrid (tt was how gracie spelled it!) coaches had a game, so we were watching how dey play during the first half. i tink dey lost? anw, half time, we were told to run 8 rounds under 12 mins. oh man. i got so scared my hands were cold. chicken sia.. i did in 15+ i tink. running on the astro turf was so nice. it was so flat n smoooooth. i wouldnt mind running 8 rounds dere every trng.
so aftr tt, we did crunches. i had to stop aftr d leg lifts cos of tt lump on my lower bck. it hurts a lil kepe.. but skejap je. den d rest continued while i jus watched. boring.
we were juggling aftr tt wen dis guy suddenly came to my side. ann la. haha.. he was dere watchin his team play. so we chatted for awhile. n den we continued juggling.
oh yeah! i also found out i got a new found neighbour. haha!
spanish looking ke pe, grace?

n finally! i got to eat bubur taiwan at adam's. haha! n i tink i was d only who actuall finished the bowl of porridge. nice.
so i was sent to dhoby ghaut. met ibu n den went home.
home sweet home. oj wasnt slpin yet. haha. cuteness la she.

today, wrk. kak rin's comin in to tke d fon. n pls.. i hope il get another sale. this is like the most pathetic month im having so far. i like seriously wana quit n find another job. anything more fun den dis. a clown perhaps? ahah.. rite.

// any sales?

sent oj downstairs aftr a long time. pat's maid sent pat. it was cold. cos it was rainin.
ltr trng at st wilfrid. yeay. i like d toilets dere. hah.

dis week, against BA. wowweee..
i duno if i mentioned this, but this yr's league, statistics dun wrk.
we lost to BA 2-1, n we lost to PLP 9-1.
but dey drew 1-1 with each other. so its like supposedly their on par with each other.
but yeah. we lost very badly to PLP.
sooooooooooo
my point is, anything can happen. we'r bottom table. but! anythin can happen!
ok. get it?

k. my right ankle doesnt feel good aftr d pesta sukan. got knocked ah somehow. argh.
ltr sure pain. iced it once only. haiyoh.. i need to get tt blue thing la. d hot/cold pack.


reall bored at work.
courtesy of ghaz's k700i

// the colours shine for you

i was crying in the broad daylight til my food turned hard n cold.
im stil taking it.


Aerosmith's Hole In My Soul
I'm down a one way street
With a one night stand
With a one track mind
Out in no man's land
(The punishment sometimes don't seem to fit the crime)
Yeah there's a hole in my soul
But one thing I've learned
For every love letter written
There's another one burned
(So you tell me how it's gonna be this time)
Is it over
Is it over
'Cause I'm blowin' out the flame

Take a walk outside your mind
Tell me how it feels to be
The one who turns the knife inside of me
Take a look and you will find there's nothing there girl
Yeah I swear, I'm telling you girl yeah 'cause
There's a hole in my soul that's been killing me forever
It's a place where a garden never grows
There's a hole in my soul, yeah I should have known better
'Cause your love's like a thorn without a rose
I'm as dry as a seven year drought

I got dust for tears
And I'm all tapped out
(Sometimes I feel broke and can't get fixed)
I know there's been all kinds of shoes underneath your bed
Now I sleep with my boots on but you're still in my head
(And something tells me this time I'm down to my last licks)

Cause if it's over
Then it's over
And it's driving me insane

Is it over
Yeah it's over
And I'm blowin' out the flame

// i dont care?

hey. wen was d last time during pesta sukan at SAS, it rained? never?
yeah. so.. d weather was cool. it was nice. we lost. lost. n draw. n won. but yeah.
to d showers we went.
anw, the pesta sukan is not called d pesta sukan anymore. its d Balakrishnan Cup.
but everyone seems to not care, n stil calls it d pesta sukan.
but at least, its better den calling it d pesta perdana. rite?
haha. k inside joke.

hung out wif them aftr tt. i was somehow being very irritating. so, ti, im sorry yah.
n den i was being sucha klutz. spilled half a cup of ice lemon tea onto titi at macs.
wah kau. so malu.
n someone suggested some sort of a theory on y i was being such a sotong. mayb, mayb not.
ahakz.
ate sundae. n den got free ice cream frem dayen.
at andersens. woohoooo!
n now i cant stop coughing. well done.

// with every love letter written, there's another one burnt

n so, saturday has come n is almost gone.
gona tuck in real soon.
gona do my packin last min.
hah.
c u all in d mrng alrite.

nitey nite.

// shine

this is so irritating.
im so excited n so happy. i didnt expect it.
damn, i dun expect to b even feelin dis way.
y seh?
argh.. haha.
plain madness.
~bangs head on the wall.

i cant wait for sunday. i wana slp tonite n den wake up on sunday mrng.
can dis week have no saturday? please!
i dun like working. it is so tiring to jus sit dere n call away.
sunday i bet its gona b hot. n im gonna get dark. but im ok wif tt.
it'l b a long day. n il meet a lot of ppl.
i wana play n play. n i wana win sumtin.
i hope gracie comes. i cant wait for sunday.
i cant wait! argh. i hate it wen i cant wait.
yay!

// sejuk main

ive been reading abt spontaneous human combustion lately. aftr i came across abt it in an article d other day. its kinda interesting i guess.
anyway, ive been feelin warm since i woke up. from d inside. feelin worse aftr trng. like its a fever, but its not. kinda freaky wen i put both thoughts together.

yeah.

oh. titi's shower creme smells like strawberry oatmeal.
yummy.

gonna pop some pills n drink a gallon of water.

// anything to keep me breathing

i like waking up to the sound of raindrops.

// wake me up when september ends

it is jus so very interesting that me, gracie n jon has d same aching shoulder. its jus so sore aftr sunday's match. it irritates me. wearing my clothes was sucha chore. argh.

i got so many invites to so many places by so many ppl.
hah.

work is..
i duno. i like d ppl dere, i do. but d sales r not comin in.
argh.

my feet feels funny. n its irritating la.
i wana go watch soccer now. one of d international frenly matches.

cant wait for sunday. yippee...
i wana win sumtin tau.

// will u still love me tommorrow?

im just fascinated by how big the inside of a taxi is.
its just so..
wide.

ok, bye.

//reading me like a book

finally
dey were cooked.

4 down, 2 to go.

procrastination runs in the family.

curiosity killed the cat.
it killed me too.
il try hard not to wonder anymore.

unfortunately, losing is a hard habit to break.

keep smiling aishah. just keep smiling.

// your love is like the thorn without the rose.

jus woke up frm my nap. i feel slightly better. applied the eye drops. had my pill.
now i feel hungry.

gues im gona eat n den lie dwn again. tink ibu fried carrot cake. shes always inspired like tt.
qilah is getting better. n shes wearing her pink shades at home. shes her usual self now. askin lotsa qns n irritating everyone. she even attempted to clean d room, but gave up halfway cos me n shidah didnt help. my dad n bro went out, n shidah's goin out soon. alone. haha! cos shes scared she mite get it frm us. (oh, my mum has d sore eyes too!)

oh yeah, asked d doc abt my back. she said its jus a lump. a lump of wat, shidah asked. haha. k. she said it wasnt sumtin serious. n if i was to x-ray it, it wun b seen. so basically.. now i jus hv to.. umm.. massage it til its gone? i duno. it stil hurts a lil.

i got a riddle! tag me d ans k!

what has 4 legs, is green n fuzzy n will kill u if its dropped from a tree?

// ahakz!

k confirm. i got it frm qilah. sore eyes. its d left. n i tink im gona get it on d right tmr.
gona go poly tmr for an mc. i cant find my eye drop for my prev infection. argh. thnx to my messy table.

n den during trng, got hit right smack on d right side of my head by guy. i fell flat on d grd n stayed in tt position for like 20 secs? damn. my ears were burning. n i tink i felt my brain moved. damn. den my jaw hurt wen i ate.
so durin d last part i sprained my ankle. stupidly infront of everyone. great.
now i hurt all over.
argh.
im sucha klutz.
wana buy stuff tmr but i hv to giv tt a miss. yeah until wen? until im outa cash.
great.

its jus great isnt it!!!! argh! ~bangs head on the wall.

// if it makes you happy

my right eye dun feel good again. dun tell me im gona get it from oj.
both her eyes r now sore. she looks bad. n she doesnt want d eye drops anywhere nere her.
naughty girl. 2 days mc seh. she's gona miss 'charlie n d chocolate factory', cos her class is goin to watch it today.

yeah.

im seriously tinkin of changin jobs. but next mth shud b confirmation. my batch, i dun even noe whos left. bluek.

n aftr another, its always another. y cant time jus stand stil for a few hours without any probs. alone. without anyone.

if i cant have you,
i dont want nobody baby
-yvonne eliman

// ish

its 0740hrs n im blogging. went to the toilet to let go of d wastes n oj gave me a shock. she went out of d toilet wif her eye covered wif her lil scarred hand. "kak, eye pain.." her right, or was it left eye was red. as in red, red. i was shocked. she was ok last nite before goin to slp.
told her to lie down while i go search for my small cute new eye mo. (i had an eye infection last 2 weeks.) it was under the bed. ahakz. i told her to open d eye but she closed it. holding up her lid i jus squeezed d bottle. n she grimaced in pain. told her to jus lie stil but she sat up n said, "kak, want to play computer.." den i was like, "hah?! eye pain want to use computer ah? no no.. cannot." n now shes watching channel 32. haiz.. cable tv. its not good for lil kids.
anw, im not sure if shes goin to sch. she has had quite a long holiday now. she has to go to sch but im not sure if her teacher will allow the red eye.

im stil sleepy. n i wana go bck to slp again. listening to lifehouse's everything. over n over n over again. m not sick of it yet.

oh, work was sucky last nite. cos i was so so so slpy.
oh!
n im so glad i hav long lost frens callin n smsing me. namely, jajah n hammy!
missed dem loads.

and how can i stand here with you
and not be moved by you?
would you tell me how could it be
any better than this?
cos you're all i want
you're all i need
you're everything

// chin up, dont turn away, stay.

i i i jus want to tell u u u guys that i i i have a pair of rechargable AAA batteries.
no more spending $1.60 every 3 days!
woo hooo.


http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=wHitEChocolate_IConS

i find tt cute. heh.

// suicide note

hey! happy 40th, singapore!
haha! i jus got back! from downstairs. i saw those vehicles! again.
n those army guys n d CD guys n d police guys. hah! like i saw their faces.
me oj n shidah jus waved n waved.

so anw, grace came over in d mrng to jus basically hang out la. act wana do her proj. i did help la abit. grace played wif oj. n den, we headed to mak's house. food was nice. company was great. jus chilled n chatted wif dem.
aftr a few hours, went bck. shopped a lil at d supermarket b4 heading home.
ayah was alrdi home n dere was kinda a feast. hah! right.
dere was foooood la. den we ate while watching d parade n all.
n den it was those 2 shows. d SI n tt twins show.
while watching it, i rmb d conversation me n gracie had abt twins. hehe..
how did we even started talkin abt d twins ah?

anw! d highlight of d evening is watching all those vehicles la! my sissies wanted badly to c d fireworks but we cant. suddenly we heard loud noises. i jus ran down d stairs askin my sissies to follow down. n dere dey were. all those vehicles.. passing right thru d road... haha!

2 times! yeah ok. u guys mite say. so wat? dey'r jus vehicles. haha.
im easily amused la. can?

// pulling up my jeans

not int.
call back.
no time to watch.
no need.
job's gettin boring. i need a change. tt camp instructor thing is an idea. but i hv to forgo soccer. tt
biz thing is cool. but i dun tink im even interested.

but is a powerful word that changes things.

now where did i hear tt?

im in love with backstreet boy's climbing the walls la. im such a sucker for sappy songs. bluek.

no i cant let you go
you're a part of me now
caught by the taste of your kiss
and i dont wana know
the reason why i cant stay forever like this
now im climbing the walls
cos i miss you

// foxy

yellow.
im sleepy. my butt hurts. d bone above it hurts too. alot.
ouch.
first time gettin dis kinda injury. i cant lean back wen i seat.
lying down was bad too.. explains d lack of slp.

mrng went to shidah's sch to buy stuff. national day carnival.
dere's a name for it. but im not sure wat. hah.
n den met kinah in d bus. she looked great. my mum rmb her as d girl who wore the black kebaya. haha!
to northpt to chill wif oj n ibu. shopped a lil.

goin to wrk. ltr..

// running my hands through your soft hair

hey. wrk was erm.. ok. no sale. but it was ok. i had to cover one of d days tt i didnt wrk.
no sale. jus called. have to call back some tmr. yeay!

game. lost. 3 nil. it was sooooo hot. but i dun tink i was affected by d weather. most of dem were. i was somehow intimidated. n tt sucks la. i shudnt hv been. argh. bluek.

tired. tmr i tink ibu got plans for me. yeah.
somehow i cant wait for wrk ah. d leads r great. yup.

// imaginary tic tac toe

hey. im back. frm wrk. n dinner.
wrk was ok. no wait. it wasnt. i mean, it was. but it can b better.
yeah. had a sale thnx to joven. if not, i wun have.

walkin ard at the edge.
around the edge. hah. shidah got a watch. n den we took neos.

aqilah was doin her sums in d train. everyone was practically starin her.
she's so smart la. den tke pix wif shidah's fon.
haha.
tired man.

// you and me

midnite. was eating laksa maggi while eyes glued to d monitor. one by one d windows popped up. i had like ten people at one go on MSN. happy birthday aishah!
thnx to all who wished me happy birthday.
kak rin, baba, alif, muhsin, yasminT, ghaz, runn, grace, mau, terence, adib, yazidA, hira, fani, titi, nik n no'ne, ayi.. those who tagged n those who gave a testi in friendster!
nik actually called me up n sang to me a bday song. haha! power ah nik!
woke up late. read my reader's digest. went to pee, my mum wished me happy 3oth birthday. buat klakar ah tu.. hhaha.. klakar ah.

well, basically, il jus slack away today til its trng time. yep. it'l b cold n wet. i dun like cold but i like wet. hehe.. yeah.

my tag board: umm.. who's romeo? i wana noe who u r. yeah. farni.. no johnny depp for me yet.. not just as yet ah.. haha!

// what is it that we have that makes me love you so much?

its been a cold day. my butt's getting a cramp cos of d cold n d fact tt ive been sitting here for d most part of d day. d left butt especially. not rili sure y tho.
ate n caught my dose of mtv for d day.
im feeling sleepy now but i shud b getting ready for work.

i wanted to change my blogskin again. but somehow i cant dl it. something's wrong but im not sure wat. im supposed to help is change her's too. but i cant. hope to c u online tonight so i can tell u k.
oh. considering to remove my tag board. hmm.. yeah. bcos of tt person who tagged. but den again, im not gonna remove it jus bcos some a**hole spoke his/her mind.. rite? yeah. rite. so wif tt said, d tag board will b dere for awhile more.

cant wait for soccer dis sunday. my sunday matches r d only things im lookin forward to every week. 5 matches down, its d 2nd round. another 5 weeks of this. n den wat? wat do i look forward next?
oh yah! i forgot. im looking forward for my bday tmr. ahakz. how can i forget? ~slaps forehead

// come back to my right, please..

aftr one thing, its another.
it seems tt i can nvr have peace.

coach's back. yay.

k. question.

qns: which fish has d biggest head?

ans: anchovy wearing a helmet.

hah. k. lame.

// so long and good nite

yellow.
last nite i had a chat wif a corporal from a police post. n i thot it was so cool. hah.
i even told him i was 20 in a few days time. flirt ah konon.
but he laughed at me. cos i sound like im 12? haha.

all's well now. i tink.

it rained. but it stopped. i wished it rained non stop.
cos
im only happy wen it rains.
oh yah. wishes dun come true.

n! ayah got a job. if i heard correstly its in some make up company.
weird. haha. but way cool!

// bluek

i got no comments on my tagboard. i jus hope tt d coward will go public n tell me who he or she is.
thnx.

lost last nite's game to paya lebar. 9 nil i tink. or was it 10. im not sure. it was crap. i wonder how dey feel. happy to score so many? sick of scoring too many? no further comments.

my bro's not bck yet. my parents r worried. cusnt slp late cos my mum was askin me for suggestions. yeah. we all had d same idea.

jus gona chill at home today b4 wrk. hv to clean my room. but my head has been feeling heavy for d past 2 hrs? i thot it'l go away. but i gues.. soon enuf. aftr a nap.

oh. shidah intro me to this band. hot hot heat. nice catchy songs. check out 'talk to me dance with me' and 'good night good night'. best.

// tripping over these obstacles