at wrk now. amazingly, dis comp has internet, instead of intranet.

anw,
just how many times, can one cry, in a day?

// how now brown cow?

i woke up to watch the finals. i wanted Liverpool to win. n dey did.
the match wasnt as eciting as the man u n arsenal game. the style of play i meant.
each team was passing ard, n den tried to attack. AC Milan played great in d 1st half.
1st goal was durin d 1st min. n den dey scored another 2.
dey were up 3 nil durin half time. d commentators thot tt was it!
d cup was milan's. but i knew dere wud b a turn of events.
n damn i was right!
within a space of 2 mins,Liverpool netted in 2 goals! brilliant header from Gerrard, n a crackin shot from outside d box from Smicer. d sub.
someone was den brought dwn, n Alfonso took d penalty.
Liverpool den did wat dey do best. defended. n held d game. to extra time.
n den, d most dreaded part. penalties.
i thot somehow, AC Milan was goin to win. but no!
dey overshot one, Dudek actually denied 2 shots!
n Liverpool, aftr 20 yrs, got d cup again. damn. i was happy.
bcos dey looked so happy in d tv.
amazing.
like i told my bro, "the ball is round, anytin can happen."

happy news aside. im not feelin gd. i got so many things on my mind.
n i want to make everyone happy. n it seems tt its d most difficult task i hv to do.
it sucks. jus tinkin abt it. n, no thnx to dis pain im feelin in my heart.
physically. its so frequent nowadays. im so scared to know wats wrong wif me. i need to go to d docs soon..
n, i like wrkin at starhub. i do. so pls, dun mke me change my mind again.
cos my mind is d most, irritatingly fragile thing n it can change in a split second.

//bear wif it, bear wif me.

pictorial guide of me and my siblings.
apparently, im not d only one who's self obssessed.


tts me n my new highlighted hair.


my bro. i call him sofi. btw, he's a horticulturist at the singapore zoo tau!


my 1st sis. shidah. her class got 1st in a recent drama competition. n she was d narrator.


d youngest. i tink i pamper her.. hehe.. she's 10 yrs younger den me! n i call her OJ. dun ask y, cos i duno y too..

tts all for today. enjoy!

//we belong together

i highlighted my hair. for free.
n i dun tink il ever go to a hairdresser's for any thing except a trim.
cos it sux sitting in front of a mirror for 5 hours straight n having 3-4 people fussing over ur hair.
yeah.

anw.
people forgive but unfortunately, most of dem dun forget.

// we belong together

basically. i
-went to wrk aftr so long
-had sakae dinner wif baba n grace
-hung out at town til 11
-found out tt jimmy's attached to orange julius at somerset

-jus came bck frm kenduri
-was screaming cos ayah scared me wif scary long things. apparently, dey are fresh uncut keropok lekoh.
-cant wait to watch 'a beautiful mind'
-goin to wrk tmr for d whole day
-goin to hv dinner at tong seng
-goin to hv laksa tmr or mayb prawn noodles
-hope to get sales tmr

// at the top of my lungs, in my arms, she dies.. she dies.

my body's been aching for the whole of today. it cant b cos of trng.
cos trng wasnt tt tough. was it bcos of the midnite exercise i had?
(i was scrubbing the toilet!) k watever.

baba came over for awhile jus now. helped change the blogskin.
den went out for dinner. wanted to hv rojak cos we hvnt meet the rojak aunties fo so long.
but, i had tummy ache, so rojak was out of the qns.
walked n walked n we went 923.
yeah. walked n walked n chat n chat.

i gotta tuck in early today cos i got wrk tmr.
like finally. hah. tink il b seeing some new faces cos of the recruitment they had d other day.
interesting. cant wait for aftr wrk. yesss ah.

// never coming home

im bored. so here goes.
trng was amazingly, fun. thot it wud b a drag.
weather was damp.
6 rounds, 4 witha ball. n den basics. did wif titi.
somehow, twas fun. somehow.
aftr tt was 2 side. conditions were, we cant stop the ball dead n to score, to whole team has to be in d opposite half. n it has to be a grounder. so basically, it was kinda like tennis.
back n forth back n forth. score was nil nil. hah!
aftr trng was interesting. coach told us to sit n head, n jump n catch the ball.
n again, it was fun.
den came the stressing part of the whole evening.
i had an underwear crisis. of all the days, i didnt bring my underwear today.
n also, i didnt bring an extra pair of shorts.
so, i had to be driven to tekka in a pair of wet n muddy soccer shorts.
it was so stressing, worrying abt it, my head hurts.
no joke.

reached home jus before 10. n aftr so long, i get to c aqilah n ayah before they sleep.
aqilah was so very happy. n i was happy too.
heheee.. she's having an outing to the supermarket with her class tmr.
how cool is tt?

// live twice

changed the skin yet again in d wee hours of the mrng.
sumtin interesting i guess.
well.. so far.. nothing to blog abt.
jus tt i sent qilah dwn, watched tv, ate, went online, hvnt bathe, hvnt make my bed.
hah.
goin to trng ltr. yah.
nik said she not comin. haiyah. so it'l jus b d few of us.

anw, ive been listening to my chemical romance's the ghost of you.
thnx la shidah for always letting me listen to new things.
duno if tts gd or bad.
munah said tt only weird people listen to my chemical romance.
haiyoh..

n
yeah. to u.
im sorry its over.
im still in love with the one that loves only me.
till our cars collide.
u tke cre.

// for all the wounds that are never ever gonna scar me

just now mrng. grace told me dis:

dont plan.
because shit WILL happen.
take each day as it comes.

so true.
haizz..
thnx darlin.

// so long and good nite

aftr sending qilah off, i went bck to slp.
i was still very tired from kl, n also thnx to d great weather, i woke up at 2.
went online. wanted to change the skin, but cudnt decide on one.
so yeah.
grace smsed. n we decided not to turn up for trng.
me. skip. omg.
well, its ok to b naughty once in awhile.
plus, u cant rili blame it on us. with the condition of the team like tt.
well, wats remaining, ofcos la.

goin downtown to get a replacement card. i lost my atm card last nite.
most prob in d cab. oh! went down to venture.. got lost.. for awhile. but yeah. i managed to find it.
aishah never gets lost. haha.
hey! never say never la..

n yah. i contradict. i change my mind so many times. im so fickle minded.
it sucks wen u cant control ur mind.. it sucks la. it does tau......

// you've got your gun to my head

gave qilah her watch n came online.
read peoples' blogs.
i just had to. didnt i?

n so im back. money's gone. i didnt feel like i was shopping.
felt like i was walking n walking n walking. n taking LRTs.
sightseeing la. id b lying if i said it wasnt fun.
kl was.. just, interesting. it wasnt fun like... the zoo kinda fun.
u understand?
n so i went to d places tt i was 'instructed' to go by my cousins n all..
haha..
the sightseeing at kl did get some things off my mind.
amazing how my mind can switch tinkin abt things at different parts of the world.
funny how my mind starts to wander off wen the train headed back south.

on the way back, i saw the moon. i felt ashamed of myself, forgetting abt the moon for 2 days.
i was.

// you were there when i was trembling

for your viewing pleasure. courtesy of kak yam.

n off i go..

// i dont wanna hurt you,
i dont wanna make you sway.

sway - the perishers

its always me.
i made the choice.
it was always my call.
i left.
n i came back.
ive been pulling the blardy strings.
i sometimes forgot, n start balming it on others.
but i do know, that it always has been me.

so wat do i do now? i cant ask anyone, rite?
cos, its jus me. alone.
great.

// i tried to live like i never knew you

sent aqilah to sch. eh. no la.
sent her downstairs, to wait for tt stupid van.
its always late.

went home. ate a lil. shidah came home.
so early. den was online. chatted wif isk.
den he said he also sick. den he said he also wana go doc.
den we go together. gave instructions for him to meet me.
but omg. he was irritating even before he came n met me!
even irritated shidah cos he kept calling n calling asking for instructions!
anw. i had an inflammation of d voicebox. instead of the throat.
tt explains the lack of pain at the throat region.
no medication was actually needed but yeah i had to be given cough syrup.
actual treatment was not to talk for the next 2 days.
yah.
n isk went for his mammogram n pap smear.
hah!

goin to eat ban mien again!
woohoo!

// i can smell the ocean air

it was a rainy day. it was nice n cold. reminded me of sumtin tt i usually did. but yeah.
anw, it was also pay day. topped up cards. bought stuff i always wanted to buy.
like mags n onigiris n erm.. newpaper?

smangat want to go to wrk. been getting sales each day.
but, yeah, my voice turned husky last 2 nites. woke up wif a sore throat for awhile.
but got better aftr drinkin cough syrup.
throat felt ok thruout d day but my voice was almost gone.
went to wrk cos i thot il b ok.
but no. i had to use so much energy to talk tt my head hurt.
so i requested to leave. haha!

met runn n the rest at town. missed her la.
made dem laugh wif me sounding like a tranny.
great lor.
is n munz's girl, hid, wasnt feeling well too.
hope evry1 wil b ok by friday.

// the stars will cry their blackest tears tonight

had a mad weekend. thnx for C n my bro helpin me pull thru.
also thnx to those who listened.
i stil wana know the truth. but i guess only time will tell.
my impatience has caused enough trouble.

had a frenly against d lawyers. we won.
dey r preparing for a game against m'sia.
d striker n d keeper was gd. all d best yah.
aftr tt had a frenly against d boys frm tanglin sch.
drew.
i played stopper den last man. last game i was bck in mid field.
had to adapt quick.

headed dwn to give runn a surprise. had a BFM.
nice. chilled wif gracie, titi n farni.
n den to tpy to hv ban mien! like finally.
to amk next. told grace abt house of wax.
i hate story telling. cos i wana say everythin at one time den il get it all mixed up.
den il jus confuse d person who's listening.
graced cycled stupidly to d next stop. sent her off.
n off we go, bck to khatib.
C wasnt feeling well, so we had to stop a few times.


oh. had 3 sales on saturday. yess ah.

// where did johnny go?

hey! i just got bck from ECP. had a bbq wif d work people.
woohooo.. it was fun. twas stale to begin with. only a few was dere at 7.
but d fire started burning n d rest came streaming in.
i was jus looking at dem, but i got into d show n supervisied n den handling the barbequed food.
my batch finally came. got them eating.
somehow, they found out i was wearing lenses n dey dragged me away.
i cudnt cook anymore!
had fun wen the trainer guy who came with d 2 trainer girls. haha..
dirty dirty.
honey flavoured hotdogs.. muhahahha..
sat down. talked cock. funny la.
went home.

was cycled all d way home from yck. imagine.. cycling at 11pm in d dark.
great company. i cycled too.. it was nice.
thnx ba.

oh! n i watched house of wax. like finally! a scary movie!
hah! paris hilton was better den i expected. she was ok.
somehow d story was abt relationship between siblings. yeah.
freaky. but touching. towards d end.
i like how the story goes. the fact tt they were a nice family n then evrything jus came crumbling down when the moither got sick and d dad attempted to separate his own pair of siamese twins.
sad but terrifying.

k la. tired. tmr work. like finally.
hah.

// creeaamy eclairs

i have a HUGE collection of CDs.
Cs n Ds.
just got my poly results. as in d whole list of grades from year 1 to 3.
hah!
my dad was furious wen he saw it. gave me a earfull..
ouch.. hah!

my blister's getting bloodier. weird.
first time i got a bloody blister.

trng. was. haha. lets jus say.
international. yeah.


just sumtin i saw on d way home.. tragic.

// as one door closes, another door opens

me. if u dont know tt by now.

n yes. in less den a week, ive changed it again.
just explains my fickleness huh..
dark but cute. jus like me? haha. k no. not.
pix of cute colourful onigiris!
dammit. i miss eating onigiris.
k nvm, i know il hav my chance.
oh yasmint, if i got a song in mind to accompany dis skin, i need a favour from u again alrite.. =)

n operation 'move on' has commenced.
initial procedure: to remove any visual evidences of d past in a communication device with a vertical green line in the middle.
great.
next step is to remove visual aids in remembrance of happiness from the container made from stingrays' skin.
to update to general when 2nd step is done.

aishah. u suck. alot.

// can you jerk it out?

finally i went to work. apparently my leader didnt notice tt i had been skipping work. weird. first thing she asked me was, "u coming or not?" huh?! like wth? she said there'l b a bbq. n i say yah. like y not? n like finally too, i had a sale. a follow up. not a lead.
told jasper abt my thots on leaving the place. she was against it.
i dunno.

he picked me up n sent me home.
rotiboy tagged along from bugis. hah!
thnx. =)

anw. im feeling things i m NOT suppose to feel.
its killing me. its sucks. im supposed to b ok.
i freak out wen i c it. n wen i dun, i want to c it.
like wtf aishah. get over it will u?

//goooooooooosfraba

n without warning. the avalanche came.
killing me again.
just after i woke up from the dead.

thnx yasmint, for d song.

gd monday aftrnoon.
home alone. for d next few hours. they coming back already.
not goin out today cos i need to do wat i was supposed to do.
housework. hah!

last 2 nites. was fun. i was happy. immensely.
i finally got wat i wanted. thnk u so much.
dropped by farrer park. watched a wheelchair tennis training session.
amazing.
n for d first time since 2 yrs dere, i saw a lot of cats at one time.
cuteness.
chilled n stuff. nice.
im happy. i try to be.

oh! saw titi. n yah.. i expected it.
she bit me.

hotdogs had been my staple for d past 2 days.
chokeful of sodium in those lovely long brown delicacies. hah.
wak mah called me n asked me to go over.
woo hoo! she made roti kirai n i guess she knows im home alone.
she sounded so tired wen she called me jus now.
kinda missed her voice. like wen was d last time i saw her?

oh! i passed my FPr. like finally.
graduated!

// forgiveness doesnt change the past but it enlarges the future