hey. it was an uneventful day. 1 class at 10. no classes til 3. EM had to go dental chk up. therefore i was left to fend for myself. made a few phone calls. n den decided to go np. thnx gracie. food was cheap!
sent gracie to class n den went to holland v. did wat i had to do. bck to jelita.
continued d classes. n den no more.
bought pop tarts. smores flavoured. cant wait to hv em for breakfast.
wooooohooo.
well, met up wif d sissies n d parents at northpoint for dinner. went to 923 to eat. had d fish soup noodles dere. but. its not as nice as compared to d one at tong seng or lucky plaza or any banquet outlet. hah.
got d mags. dis month's cleo. gd reads. hah. if u noe wat i mean.
plan for tmr is yck n amk n den tix for barneys n den st wilfrid.
ST WILFRID. astro turf. nice toilets. bubur taiwan. n yeah. some others.
hhhhaaaaiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzz.
i hate missing people la. bluek.

// tired

i cant slp. aftr my shower, i saw sumtin n i got so very excited.
n den i was tinkin of so many things n so many ppl.
but it was shortlived.
hah.
tt always happen. so happy one sec, so down d next. i mite as well b watching desperate houswives on ch 18 now. but neh, i shud b tuckin in real soon. full day at wrk tmr.

got sooooo many things to do. time is runnin out. its gona b end of d yr soon. gona make resolutions. haha. rite. it doesnt get better every yr does it? haaaaaah. nvr content. so typical of me. im sure u agree. haaaaaaaaah.

listening to ukay's disana menanti disini menunggu. apparently dere's a couple of ppl who like dis song. or, more like, relate to d song. haaaaaah. crappiness. wth.

dis post is totally random. nonsensical. im jus trying to make myself sleepy as i type.

oh. fall out boy n relient k's on d radio now. n my sister's pissed. hahaahah.

its a cold nite. i hope my bro's safe wherever he may b now. i miss him la. dammit. haiz. i feel bad. i wana start over. argh.

i wana go away. not sure if i wana bring sum1 along. but i do wana go away. for awhile. d northside is out. apparently dey r closed, this time of d yr. hmm. tink tink tink.

it just started raining again. i shud go lie down now. start to count kambings n fall aslp. pleasant nitemares.

// psychotic

FINALLY
a FULL day off.
thank you, EM.

happy belated 17th, gracie baby.
=)

// hanging

had fun.
but im TIRED.
gd nite.
pleasant nitemares.

// wher u at?

outdoor session was fun. n my chipping sucked to begin with. seriously, i cant do it if dere's someone staring at me. hah. it was scorching hot. so hot i cud feel my arms burning, but i dun tink im any tanner (is dere sucha word?). bluek.

ive been watching golf on tv. its much interesting since i noe how d game's played now. cool aint it?

goin to farrer park soon. bringin oj along cos she'l b home alone.

oh. i tink i ate toooo much. bluek.

// gravy is kuah, n soup is sup.

oi.
biadap eh. hah.
tak betul.

its been raining. my feet is really really cold.
wen to hq to learn d rules n etiquettes of golf.
there are a total of 34 golf rules.
blablabla.
apparently, golf is known to be the gentleman's game.
n its a fair game. supposedly.
u learn sumtin new e-very-day.

finally gracie gets to watch 'just like heaven'.
touching. reese witherspoon is too pretty to be in coma.
haha..
'exorcism of emily rose' was the day before. its not just a scary movie.
trust me, it was scary.. the movie was also abt moral, religious issues.
its really interesting. d kinda movie tt makes u tink.

well, i hvnt eaten. n im not hungry. but im gona eat anw.
like u hv to know tt.

// storm clouds gathering

fucks.
tt a new snack u keep feedin my ears?

immunised.

// facts leave no room for possibilities.

On my own - the used
see all those people
on the ground wasting time
I try to hold it all inside
but just for tonight
the top of the world
sitting here wishing
the things I've become
that something is missing
maybe I...
but what do I know
and now it seems that I have found
nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
slow it down, slow it down
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
on my own
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
on my own

// pleasant nightmares

suddenly............ i feel so rimaaaaaaaaaas.
rimas abt everything.
my hair, my back, my phone, my mouse, my sister n i duno wat else.
its so rimas to be feeling rimas la.
oh. im also rimas tt im not sleepy yet.
argh.
ltr at wrk... classes. yeay.
gd mrng children!
gd mrng teacher aishaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!
lets do warm upssssssssssssssssssss.
wooooooooohhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

// shivers down my spine, goosebumps on my bare body.

hey. been some time since im here. not feeling well, n ive been working everyday.
work. its not exactly labour. im tired of just waking up early everyday. tink my body's not used to it yet. also tired of d traveling. frm khatib to laguna to chaichee to bedok to clementi to holland rd. tt was jus one of d days. days like tt, i wished i had my own transport.
tmr im goin to d golf course. tt'l b a first time for me. not tt excited actually. hah.

im having d flu n also im itchy all over. dengue flu? is dere sucha thing?
shah said its sandflies. well, i say its jus plain irritating. it started out immediately aftr i ate ben n jerry's phish food. cant b an allergy reaction, can it?
weird.


alritey. gtg. wana eat my hot n sour soupy snax. hah! bought 12 pkts n got a free cup. bluek.
unplanned shopping at mustafa last nite. intital plan was jus to buy tools but yeah.
wats new aishah shasha?

// it seems that ive found..................
nothing.

it just never ends!! til when do i hv to endure all this?
i cant tell u how i feel cos u'll tink im rude.
i cant even blog abt it cos u tink im out to tell d whole world.
i cant tell anyone abt it cos dey'v heard it so many times!
i cant effing do anything abt u.
one day ur nice. one day ur not.

dammit. u suck. i tink u noe tt. its just a gentle reminder.

oh.
n im so gona noe wats gona happen next. ur gona flood my inbox wif ur angry scary msgs. n den yeah.. u noe wats gona happen too rite? cos u keep doin it all d time.
y cant i jus live my life peacefully? y cant i say no to you? y cant i go out wif anyone i like?
y do u always hv sumtin to say? i cant agitate u. i cant irritate u. but U! u can!
dammmmmmmmmmmmmmit. God forbid, but i tink my lifespan is shortened by a few years jus tinkin abt dis shit all d time.

// put ur gun on my head

im tired. i feel tight. n my right eye hurt.
dere were a few times tt i felt sad, for awhile.
im not sure y.
but dere were things, people tt made me happy for awhile.
tt blind guy was nice. he thought i was a doctor cos i said tt i knew cough medicine will make him sleepy. i dun tink he had eyes at all. cos his eyelids were shut n it was so sunken in.
yeah i was staring at his face for awhile n i was tt close. he had rough hands. (we shook hands.)
n he wished me slmt hari raya. he even got my name right at d first time. n i didnt even get his name.
now, i feel bad.
blardy.
i noe im never contented wif watever i hv, but, ive been told to strive harder for d things i want.
isnt tt contradicting??

d world's a bitch n so r u.

// sway my way, i need to know all abt u.

wrk was fun today. met d littlest kids. cuteness.
ian gave me a hug. angelica is just like d angelica in rugrats.
haha.

met gracie aftr wrk. we ate satay. duck, turkey n chicken. oh yeah, n baby sotongs.
sat, talked n ate.
n den we went in search for phish food. cudnt find it, so we settled for cookie dough.
yummy!
sat at d boat quay. talked cock.

so tired. my right eye stil hurt. its swollen. i duno y.
tmr dey'l b more classes. duno if i can even go for a brk.
oh n tmr i wun b following my family for our annual raya outing. so sad.
tt also means i cant go to coach md's. haizzz..
wrk wrk wrk wrk wrk wrk wrk.

pleasant nitemares ppl. nitey.

// so near, yet so far.

nothing to say actually. just tt i felt i had to blog.
off day today. sent oj dwnstairs n went online.
n stayed online.
went out wif ibu n nyai for awhile. bought stuff.
yeah.
went online again. n stayed online.
took a 30min nap. hah.
oj is playing with my hair now. hah.
wana eat den bathe den go out. =)

oh, did i say i went to wrk at suntec last nite?
dey had d bigger kids. umm.. i forgot d name of d course.
argh. nvm. hope tmr wil b a better wrking day.
i dun mind doing real wrk dis time. hah.

ok go.

// berry chips

everyone's at home. woohoooo.
im hungry n im lazy to eat.
today, work was.. not like work.
haha. funny la d company.

got many things to say. but i duno how to put them in words.
so.
let's just let dem rot in my grey matter, alrite.

// protein

hello. slmt tghari. haha.
woke up late. well, not late la compared to pre-kindergolf days.
haha. sent oj downstairs. n went online eversince.
wat else is new kan?

ltr ptg meet gracie. haha. who else kan?
hahah, no la. (yeah yeah, she's not in our team..) i like goin out wif grace.
pass her my lab coat/coats? n d book she rented.

my thumbnail is purple. yvonned painted it for me on sunday.
weirdness.

enjoy.

im not difficult to spot huh..

inside cik mok's van.

ibuuuuuuuuuuuu.

ayaaaaah.

ok bye.

// il keep bending til i break

first day. met a few of dem. 1 familiar face.
watched them train. golf is not an easy game to play.
i did my strokes. hand n thigh cramped up. right shoulder now stiff.
during lesson, i kept tinkin abt soccer. d techniques were really similar.
haha. cant wait for trng seh. soccer i mean.

so,
tak ke bodoh cam tu.
sampai biler nak gini.
bahlol! setan!! (say like how haji bakhil says it.)
tak ke bingit.. alah. kalau bingit pon, sape kan nak kisah.
argh.
(eh, tak sajak nye bebual mcm gini. hah!)

im gona slp. dammit.
pls God, let me fall aslp immediately wen my head touches d pillow.

// dance, dance

hey ho.
y ah so tired?
cos yestday layan grace ah.
played arcade.. wantede to play pool, but muz buy coke which costs 6$.
sat by d beach.
until my brown slipper is probably now in d south china sea.
hah.
changi vilage doesnt look like a village at all.
changi beach had no breeze.

our feet

she was sooooo excited

d light frm above

so tired.. goin out wif d family.
need to meet yvonne. ive been putting her off since i duno wen.
hah.
im a very busy person. hah.
hahaaaaaaaaaahaa.

oh yestday was last day. touching sia.

tmr first day. wooohooooo.

k ah go.

// immune to all verbal abuse

ive counted. 58 says til its 2oo6.
its tooooo fast.
i stil rmb it was only tt day tt i was at tuas doing my final year project.
i stil rmb it was only tt day tt me hira dayen n jann were at bedok reservoir sitting under d tree.
smoking. hah.
i stil rmb it was only tt day tt my bro was stil schooling.
i stil rmb tt it was only tt day tt i was interviewed by KJ at starhub.
i stil rmb tt it was only tt day tt ayah was retrenched.
i stil rmb tt it was only tt day tt we drew a match against home united.
i stil rmb tt it was only tt day tt i spilled a drink at suntec city's mac. =)
i stil rmb tt it was only tt day tt i actually sneaked out of the house at 3am.
i stil rmb tt it was only tt day i went to kl with my frens.
i stil rmb tt it was only tt day i..........
i cud go on n on.
i tink time passes by really fast.
it does get it a lil slow wen ur not exactly happy.
but tmr is always a new day.
scaryy..
wonder wats in store for me in 06. with dis new job n all..
im sure in for loads of surprises.

// lady lumps

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!
dis yr was a lil diff got we had to go to wak mah's place early n leave early. ayah's siblings coming over. yeah. kecoh ah.
watched dem playin monopoly. cracked jokes. lame ones. yeah. told dem abt my new job.
i cant wait for kak yam's fish eye pictures of us to develop!
at home, met my other cousins. updated our hp numbers. even exchanged email addresses.
hah!
hv to hv a date wif my cousin. wana hv sum fun.
haha.

well, i stink now. from all tt running ard.

sam called! tmr we'r getting d camera. woohoooo.

// with you

i actually threw a tantrum infront of a stranger wif my parents just now.
wat was i tinking man?
it was so embarassing.
bluek.

i was d only malay person at work. weird. everyone else was busy with their preparations i gues.
dere were new staff. 1 was attached to me. coolness.
duno if i taught her d rite stuff. jus showed her how i usually do my work. hah.

finally finished my book. simon childs died a boring death. compared to all those he murdered. linda shoved a coral snack up his eye. ed kicked him. dorie wanted to cut simon's throat but ed shot him twice. tts it! not fair huh?

tmr is hari raya. cant wait to meet my relatives actually. missed dem.
SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR BATIN to all muslim frens.

// haaaaaah

i wanted to slp aftr coming bck frm ABC. we had another round of d midnite shopping. with d inclusion of oj dis time. d lil dearie cut her feet while pulling the trolley. haha. funny. she was limping all d way aftr tt. i mean, she was overdoing it la. it was jus a tiny cut.
we found candles n played with fire. we = shidah n me. while oj said dwn at d side, talked to herself.
my eyes seriously cudnt take it wen i got home.
damn. i was at jb since 4pm. it was scorching hot. oj was being an irritant. she didnt want ayah, not ibu n defintely not shidah. hah. she was like, "i want kakak." she was thirsty n hungry n she wanted me to carry her. i had to explain to her tt we had to wait til 7 to drink sumtin. she got into a lil of trouble while at city square.. had to clean her up. lost her ezlink.. bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla blabla. n den headed to pizza hut to buka. booked a table n supposed to continue shopping. but me n oj sat down while waiting for d time. she even fell aslp on my lap. my right leg cramped up. woke her up n she gobbled up her pasta.
haha.
shopped n shopped n shopped. went bck to city square. i actually hv a relative who works at macs dere. n she was my age. hah. thot she was older. n she thot i was younger.
cool, next tym, if i ever do get to go dere alone, i cud ask for a free drink or ice cream or burger. yeah.
n so! i wanted to sleeeeep laaaaaaaaaaaa. but i had to read d book. d book grace rented but didnt wana read.
FEAR ITSELF by JONATHAN NASAW
deliciously freaky. d murderer is sucha sadist. he gets high when he sees people get so afraid n den kills dem slowly. he actually killed his grandad n den his mum. well, d grandad did abuse him. d plot's kinda predictable, just like hannibal lecter n also d tooth fairy in red dragon. apparently most serial killers go thru d same shit while growing up.
ANW! i rili hv to slp now.

iiii mmmiiisssss yyooouuuu llaaaaaaa.....
bluek.

// a gentleman's game

im sleepy but i cant slp.
probably cos i jus ate chilli crab cup noodles. haha.

aftr wrk just now, i seriously wanted to eat d mee hoon goreng ibu cooked, but there was none left.
broken hearted.
suddenly i screamed, 'ibu, i want cup noodles!'
initial reaction, 'so?'
dejected.
n den she asked my dad for my money so tt me n shidah cud go shopping at ABC at midnite.
yeay.

im losing my sense of taste. seriously. im worried its a symptom of sumtin.
gotta find ND notes.

hafta slp real sooon. not wrkin n goin over d causeway wif d family.
last min shopping i tink? n breaking fast dere. woohooo.

// funny how ur behaving like dis..