its the last ramadhan sunday n everybody was at home!
woke up late. read d book gracie rented. got ready n den headed to holland.
got my letter of appointment n further instructions frm d boss.
starting wrk next next week. cool kaan.
hah.
home sweet home. shidah n oj was halfway cleaning our room.
mess. carnage? haha.. neh, too violent. but yeah. the equivalent.
cleared the table. cleaned the wall. the doors.
leftovers in d middle of d room. we were stuck. didnt noe wat to do wif dem.
slacked for a few hrs. hah.
started throwing my tennis ball at the wall.
for the fun of it.
oj being oj, imitated me. but ball went flying thru the window. ahahhaha.
ran downstairs n d ball was under a hyundai trajet. oj had to get dwn to her hands n knees to retrieve d ball. haha.
attempted to throw d ball bck up to shidah who was at d window but, d ball went to d other window. umm.. d middle window has dis umm.. potruding floor. umm... i duno how to explain, but d ball was stuck dere.
we thot of carrying oj dwn dere.. but it was too dangerous. shidah suggested tt she went dwn instead but she was too busy saying it was dirty n stuff.
so i suggested using d vacuum cleaner to suck the ball up. my bro being the tallest did the honor.
n he managed. hahahaha. we cheered so loudly.
n tt shocked my gramma.
haahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahah.
d 4 of us had fun.
yeay.
well now d room is better. i c more space on d table. but lets just c how long before d mess comes bck again.

was watching national geographic channel just now. abt the london bombings on the 7th of july.
made me mad n sad. the bombings were so unecessary.

n, time flies sooo fast. 62 days left before 2006.
wow.
il post abt dis another time.

// seven elevens! =)

so we were like badaks or rhinos aftr trng. covered in mud.
beginning was tiring. possesion was ok. dog n bone was madness.
idris n guy were goin crazy.
haha.

kacang pool at the railway stn was weird. more like kacang juice cos it was so blended.
but
i wiped the bowl clean anw. hah.

the rain was so heavy. flashes of lightning every few seconds.
its funny how things look so different wen its wet n dark.

NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR.
bluek.

// everyday is a new day!!!

last nite at wrk.. last hr was somehow the most painfullest. (i made tt freakin word up.)
thnx to jq for helping. giving me suggestions. listening to my rants.
~blows fringe.
he even asked his frens to get me air bunga, mentos n a pack of tissue.
a pack of tissue! haha.. cuteness la.

well.. b4 wrk, met up wif gracie. she wanted to buy slippers so we walked round bugis village but nothing appealed to her. made our way to cold storage.. n den to take neoprints.

sent me to wrk. bought me teh. haha.
during brk time met her again cos she wanted to eat together.
she bought me sushi n mochi! touching kaaaaaan.

so tt was yestday.

went to d 2nd interview jus now. tink il b getting it.
waiting for another confirmation mail. den tts it.
dis will b interesting.

time to PLAY BALL!

// plug in baby

its like everything i do, is scrutinised.
im doin wat i feel like doin.
my steps, wat i tink, wat i feel.
freedom of speech? just gets worst for me huh?
not sure if its right, not sure if its wrong.
il jus b more rebellious?
sub-consciously?

i jus saw a bird, shit.
hah.

'how many castles have you built?' alvin asked.
tt was blardy sarcastic. hah. i laughed it off.

thnx for ur advice. u n u.
no worries, ur not d only one nagging.
grilled ear sandwich. tts wat i m.
get it? yes? no.

// taking it all, with a pinch of salt.

before i die,
i want to own a rolex watch.

but i dun want ppl to die,
i just want them to disappear.
forever.
less brutal.

unfortunately,
i dont hate.

its gonna rain.
gettin wet while doing the thing you love.
is great.
soccer, i meant.

im getting used to the cold wind on my face.
its fun. very.
but, will this fun last?
ish.
my heart jus started the race.
it always happens wen the brain produce images of him.

// holiday?

hey, a quickie.
last nites outing wif d family was great. tiring. fun.
wud hv been better if my bro came along.
dumb ass tt guy. bluek.
cant wait for friday cos il b getting tt vintage puma jacket.
coool.
chinatown is sucha great place to shop n walk ard!

n we broke fast at lau pa sat.
reminded me of gracie cos i rmb she tellin me she wanted to go eat dere.
one day k.
we go eat satay.

anw! i went to tt interview. it sounds so much fun.
2nd interview on wednesday with d founder of d company.
cool kan.

k la. for now, i hv to get ready to go to work.
call call call. sales sales sales.

// tiring

my mum n sis agreed tt i'm getting dumb.
they had proof.
i cant deny it.
inactiveness killed the brain cells.
hah.

off to work real soon. sales, come to me pls.
im begging.

chinatown n den geylang ltr. kallang aftr tt? i want to. but no promises alrite.
=)

i cant wait for monday. i hope it'l b fun.
kinder buenos are goin for a dollar now.

// insatiable

changed it. again. hah.
hope this stays for awhile ok.
slept kinda early last nite i gues. cos i was tired.
doing nothing. except waiting.
yeah.
~blows fringe.

ba. thnx for d mags. n for bloating me n oj up.

aqilah is seriously irritating me right now. (btw, if u duno dis by now, aqilah n oj refers to d same annoying yet adorable being.)

work later. have to have a sale.
cos its a saturday.
dammit.
wish me luck. thank you.

// remember me? cos i remember you.

its friday. rotting day.
woohooo.
wanted to wake up later. but i cant.
dammit.
probably cos i was looking at the phone for evry half hr.
no 8.50am call today. bluek.

hear are some quotes for you to ponder on:
"remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
"it's faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes life worth living" - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"when your bow is broken and your last arrow spent, then shoot shoot with your whole heart" - Zen saying

// walking away

HEY!
yesterday's game. we won. against AETOS. i wasnt sure of the exact score but, it was alot.
started out as stopper. it was a lil weird cos we didnt stay down, we were pushed up. got abit frustrated. but i was ok.
pulled me out. for a 3 min breather n den put me as last man. titi went up to score. it was freaky eh.. being last man. haha. got this one on one situation, i got bck d ball, but d opponent lunged at my left ankle. damn, it hurt.
an came to rescue me. hah. n den aftr tt, she told d whole world of my secret for tt evening.
damn her. haha.

anw, cleaned up. ate. HOKKIEN MEE! nice laaaa.
chit chat. den headed home. but, stopped by 7-11 to get a drink n chocos. walkin alone at midnite can b real nice.
got my hp bill. ish. shoot up. hehe. funny. somehow.
ibu helped me call CSO to change my plan. cool ah she.

slept late cos i watched medical investigation. yeah. n i also ricky's new vid again. dammit. he's hot. anyone who alrdi hav his latest song, 'i dont care' pls send it to me via msn ok. thnx.

goin to wrk. d only part i like abt wrk these days is the breaking fast part. they'l go like, "brownie.. come finish my food." or "eh budak kecik, kau jgn tak makan eh.."
hahahah! kan best gitu.

// always in my heart

AQILAH is a naughty girl!

boredom killed AISHAH SHASHA.

SHIDAH has no school. and is at pagoda street.

SOFI can sleep for more than 12 hours.

doinkz.

buahahahahaa.

// climbing the walls

changed the skin. again. hahaa.
archie comics. muz show OJ.
running late now. gota meet my cousin at bkt pnjg.
need to pass her sum things.
n den head dwn to wrk aftr tt. bluek.

its been too long. tts y.
dammit. i need a hug.

y im so into u is a mystery.

// come what may

i was bored. so i was surfing for lyrics of songs.

Ohhh, if there's one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
I'm gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,I say, Have A Nice Day.
Frm: Have a nice day - bon jovi

its their first single frm their latest album. its like a feel gd song. great for kids. yup.

And even when you've paid enough,
been pulled apart or been held up
With every single memory of the good or bad faces of luck
don't lose any sleep tonight
I'm sure everything will end up alright
You may win or lose
But to be yourself is all that you can do
Frm: Be yourself - audioslave

another one of those kinda songs.. great for kids. i tink. yup.

check out the guitar solos for both of these songs. power to d max.

just now, i woke up feeling rather angry. argh. but, im cool now.
now im on msn. interviewing a fren. im truly bored n im askin her totally crappy qns. yup.
supposed to meet a cousin. but, i tink my mum postponed our meeting to another day.
gona do d laundry n den get ready for trng ltr. wooohoooooooo.. cant wait.
no wrk. yeah. no wrk. yeah. no wrk. yeah. no wrk. yeah. no wrk. yeah. no wrk. yeah. no wrk.
YESSS AH.

oh, tt day i went to geylang. soooooooooooooo many ppl. i got woozy. no joke.
n i saw so many ppl i knew. ex-yishunites. ex-coffeebeaners la. ntah la sape lagi. cool.
if im goin again, it'l b d last day. yup. if not, not.

i miss grace. i miss runni. bluek.

// C A M P F IR E S O N G SONG

im beat.
damn, u looked so fine frm where i was.
cant stop relieving the moment.
over n over in my head.

Without you, I've been standing 'round like a statue,
laying on the floor thinking about you,
I talk to myself like the crazies do,
otherwise I'm great, what about you?
From: Statues - Low Millions

// GBO

bored.
listened to buble n adams.
over n over again.
next probably r d hanson n moffatts brothers.

msn-ed.

cant wait for ltr.

at wrk last nite. i was walkin past my supervisor's desk.
she let out a verrrrrrrry looooooooooooooooong yawn. n she didnt cover her mouth.

me: thats a very long yawn.
sup: yah. im long yawn silver.
me: hahahhahahahhhahahahhahahahahahhaahah

with people as crazy as such, its so fun to work kan?!?!
how sia to quit? argh............ ~bangs head on wall

// if you're feeling lonely, don't.

hey.
a quickie.
nothing productive has been done.
chores put off. cos i had a nap.
off to work now. im sure its d recycled leads again.
so yeah.
happy clicking aishah shasha.

i miss smiling at every sentence you typed.

// ok go

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?
Find out at Go Quiz

dere u r. tts wat i m.
ahakz.

dis is wat i want. but tt is wat they want.
so how now brown cow?

they got wat they want but not wat they need.

they n they here are 2 separate groups of people.

do not assume. thnk u.

// chocolate cheese slices

lets jus say i had a mini escapade last nite. haha. interesting.
ive always seen how dey move wen i was inside d van or car to kulai.
first hand experience. way cool.
n den dey had neslo. a concoction of nescafe n milo. how cool is tt?
n i saw dis lizard with no tail n i seriously thot it was dead cos it was all dirty n flat, but it was very much alive.
disgusting.

so u wanted it, n den not. n den u wanted it again, n den not again. so dis time round u n dem say u wanted it. but no, u guys cant come. so yeah. jus tke it. lets get dis over n done wif.
sumtimes i wish i can get to know these people who i duno. i mean, its not wrong, to hv more acquaintances. dis include those ppl whom i corresponded thru email several months ago.
very funny, man, u.

anyhu.... i mite b gettin a full time job soon. thnx to my mum. it was purely coincidental.
mite. mite not. hah!
n alvin actually asked me to come at 1300hrs. hah!!

i'm stil treading water.
in my mind, shud i give up n drown or shud i stil hold on n wait for rescue to come?

// stay together underneath the giant tidal wave

gracie found dis. u guys try it out ok. =)

// monday blues?

im soooo tired. jus came back.
been out since 10am. ish! tts 12 hrs of not being at home.
hah.
went to work. got a sale. watched videos of rocker mums. hehe.
d pay's in. went sim lim. took d bus to marsiling.
told dem il b late. n i walked even slower.
dey were alrdi warming up. mak said i could play 2nd half.
yesssssssssss ah.
EH! u noe wat.
im tired la.
so yeah.
haha!
jus wana say i had a gd time wif grace aftr d game.
ok bye.

// so tired

2 sales. woohoo.
macs for buka.

cant wait to kick ball again.
but ofcos, another 4hrs of forced labour before tt.
hah.
its a crucial month.
wat was tt all abt?
oh, happy 49th chua heng. =)
heh.

// burning questions

i realised from my prev posts that i am sorta an angry person inside.
freaky aint it.
cant possibly vent it physically, so yeah.

saw my dad's dentures in my parents' bathroom jus now.
wudnt it b great if i cud do d same thing to my heart or brain. for a few hours while i sleep, they'll be kept in their jars. let air fill up the cavity.
resting my dad's gums. resting me.

stripped. il sleep naked tonight.

// why?

hey. i didnt send oj today. sofi did. i cudnt quite wake up, my head felt heavy. probably i jus slept too long. didnt sleep tt late last nite.. yeah, probably tts it.
watched tv n den a movie. at home. ayah called askin me to wake up those 2 sleepin beauties.
but to no avail.

im not doin much today. yeah. not wrking n stuff. gonna hang the laundry n den...
jus wait.
m i goin out? yes? no? yes laaaaaaa. nak nak nak.
got invited to bukit timah again. but neh, the value in my tap-tap's depleting.
btw, tap-tap is an ez link card, according to my mum.

oh! yestday. sw vs np. sw won 3-0. i started out as right back. i kept gettin drifted to the middle. changed to centre mid, but i thot it was crowded in the middle so i thot i shud go down.
so i thot wrong. coach said i shud stayed up. hah!
aishah shasha...........
got subbed out. bluek. den got called in again aftr 10 mins?
instructed me not to pull pull that much, n jus feed the strikers.
i didnt realise i was pulling that much.
i tink i did ok. jus ok.
cant wait for sunday. but den again.. not exactly, i hate the field at SAS. its toooo big.

alritey. going. going. gone.

// ish! jauhnye toilet! aaaAAhhhh!

the ppl at wrk are fun. those uncles and aunties.. ly, jq, ea, boon chong, muhar, nina, abg, gizzy. altho hes been missing in action for some time now. n im missing stephen seh. muahaha.
fun. but not.
im not getting any sales.
i hope tt malay lady will call me back real soon.
i need a change.
i cant stay idle like this anymore. n no way im gona heed uncle edward's suggestion.
1300 - 2200hrs? no no.

heading to bukit timah real soon. cant wait.
im so bored at home now.
cant wait to kick some balls.
wet field.. i wana slidddeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

i tink il start spring cleaning next wk. yeah.
tts a plan. hah!

// knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

i am still
holding on... in search
for
the
room with the pur ple
curtains.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

talk about being

DUMB.

looking at your pictures.
outlining your face with my finger.
causing that throbbing pain to increase. it hurts.


on the phone with you. bluek.

u remembered tho. how cooooooooooooooooooool is that?

just wat is
going on here?

SELAMAT BERPUASA TO ALL MUSLIMS!

// float like a cannonball

hey.
i dun wana go to wrk. i dun like goin to wrk.
its very far. i dun like calling ppl who are not nice.
i hate it wen they dun wana hear me talk. or.
i hate it wen i talk so much n den dey dun wana hear anymore.
i dun wana call ppl anymore.
i dun like working. i wana go bck to sch la.

jus now send oj to kk.
haha. kk again. waited so long for her medication.
1 for 5. 1 1/2 for 2.

// fire in my heart
pounding in my brain
driving me crazy.

slept late. =) woke up early.
not to send oj. but to meet isk.
watched 'the dukes of hazzard'
FUNNY sia. go watch it if u jus wana laugh away.
witty lines, fast cars, fantastically funny car chases.
hot blondes.. steamy.....
the Duke cousins were gGrreatt... tight Ts actually look gd on guys huh..
always thot its kinda gay-ish. hah!
u thot wrong aishah shasha.

so last nite, went out with din. another unplanned thingy.
couldnt stay at home. i had to go out.
called him up.. said yeah he had no plans.
in d train, we were like arguing where to go and stuff cos we had no idea jus wat to do.
dere wasnt flashbacks or anytin. it was sucha long time ago.
but it did remind me jus how funny n nice dis guy was.
enjoyed myself. somehow. hah.
yeaaaaaaaaaaaah.

i duno if dis is gona b a regular thing. i mean.. me, goin out with them.
its nice but.. not. too.
probably il stick to this for now. hah.
~bangs head on the wall.

well! im off to trng real soon. im so gonna sleep in the bus.
hahaaaaaaaaa.....................

im getting crazier by the day its scaring myself.
i so miss him la. bluek.

// general lee

i slept at 5. n woke up at 7+. how cool is tt?
well i did get to meet him. unplanned. totally.
it made me feel better. for awhile.
in my frenster bulletin, worst fear for d week was to hear bad news.
got wat i wanted huh?
kinda expected it. woman's intuition? hah. crap sia aishah shasha.
although, its still making me confused. somehow.
argh.
karma? never believed in it. but yeah.. im getting it alrite.
wooohoooooo.
somebody shoot me.

ANW! d reason i woke up so early was to meet guy! haha. he had a game nearby n he didnt noe how to go. so i had to send him dere. n i wore the tshirt he bought for me. =)
apparently some ppl thot ive been mean to him. i didnt tink so, but, yeah.
his team lost anw. hah. n he treat me to a mc spicy double. yummmmmmmmy.

so i confided in runn early in d mrng. i jus had to rant. i dun care wat she told me. i jus had to let go off d steam. runn, thnx for being infront of ur lappie lookin at me type away in anger, or frustration, or sadness. i duno wat i was feeling. i gave my all. n i rarely did tt. me!? hah.
shortlived? hah.

n gues who i smsed, asking him out? hah.
aishah shasha...................... sucha toot.
at least im goin out. hah. hah. hah.

k i jus realised my paragraphings r all jumbled up.
hah. watever eh.
understand understood ah.
blardy.

// hah.

hey. didnt go to wrk today. cos of my tummy cramp.
stayed at home. even took a nap. amazing.
woke up to find alot of food in d kitchen.
ibu n ayah went to jb la. so yeah, go figure.
aftr maghrib, me shida n nyai went to syarahan.
it was interesting. made me reflect on certain issues goin on in my head.
everything that we do, it has to begin with sincerity.
ikhlas.
no hate, jus love. to everyone.
n ofcos, the ustaz talked abt the comin fasting month.
plus dere were instances tt he made us laugh.
cool.

gotta tuck in soon. nitey nite.

i cant wait to c u.

// no news means good news

#8115
go buy 4D or sumtin! hah. aftr so long, i finally end a freecell game.
yesss ah. feeling slightly better now. freecell can b a new form of therapy for me.
oh, btw, tts d game no.. yeah.
i tink michael buble motivated me too..

//luck